Backhanded compliments
Category: Being a Chick

Backhanded compliments

 

 

 

 

watch the video first! watch?v=yKZPwEhy1ts&feature=youtube_gdata_player

 

 

“You look like you’ve gained weight! “ even if it is the truth.. The person who says this is an asshole. The fact that someone would have the audacity to point out such a vulnerable wound and stick their finger in it. Frankly hurts.  It’s embarrassing and it’s a dick move.

A client and dear friend of mine told me a story … “Oh, you have a trainer! You should tell her that you need to work on your obliques.  Ya I workout all the time and your obliques are bad,  in fact you shouldn’t sit down in tight shirts.”  ASSHOLE move buddy.

But what do you say when your friend says something…..and you can’t… quite.. tell … how to take it…? These are a few comments I’ve received. .

I was heart broken when I went to visit some friends I hadn’t seen in a while,  I walked into their house and within 90 seconds our hostess said “Oh look at you. Of course you have lost all your baby weight. .” How the hell am I supposed to respond to that?

I was asked about my weekend and started talking about how I went jogging with the stroller, baby and dog. .. I was blissfully talking about my weekend and I hear “… Oh your one of those women.  I HATE those women when I see them on the seawall. I mean come on!  ….. That’s the only way I CAN go jogging anymore! I HAVE to bring the kid and dog with me!

“Fuck you and your Perfectly sculpted legs!” I have actually heard this one a few times…. errrr…. awesome. Thank you?

“wow! You look great Heather! But don’t lose anymore weight or you’ll start to look gross. ..”………

I HATE THIS ONE “Oh, like you would understand. Your a skinny Bitch and don’t get it” I DO get it. I DO know what it’s like to have clothing that doesn’t fit properly. I do cry when trying on jeans or baithing suits. I do have binges of cheese and bread. This is why I’m in this industry. Because I want to help others get through those rough times. I want to be that person in your corner cheering you on. Because I know how much just that helps.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, if your compliments ARE NOT GENUINE. Please just keep your comments to yourself. Yes I get it. There are moments when you will feel insecure. That’s normal. Just stop putting other people down!

It hurts.

Thinking it is one thing. Saying it is another. When you say it, you are purposefully saying something to make others feel bad. If you catch yourself saying these comments, think “what is bothering me so much to make these comments? “ and if others are saying things like this to you. Don’t hesitate to call them out and just tell them Thank you and your happy and proud of yourself.